Tennis Revisited

If you've been reading Role Mommy for a while, you may have read one of my previous posts about my long awaited return to the game of tennis. Back in November, I decided to dust off my racquet from 1986 and sub in a tennis league filled with stay at home moms and retirees. However, my foray into that foreign world was too much for me to handle and while I had a few memorable strokes and even won a few games, I never returned because I feared the ladies would tell the league organizer that they didn't want me to come near their foursome ever again. Well, this summer, I decided to take matters into my own hands and I signed up for tennis lessons. I dusted off my oversized Prince racquet, purchased a park permit, fished through my closet for a pair of sweats that wasn't incredibly outdated and proceeded to the courts where I met Andreas, a Camel smoking tennis pro who pretty much managed to transform my game in a matter of weeks. Andreas and I hit for a few minutes that first day and he instantly gave his assessment. "Would you be okay if I changed your forehand grip? The one you're using went out in the early nineties." Ouch. Was I that out of touch with modern tennis? Could it be that my tennis idols Martina and Chris were completely pre-historic and were probably playing the Boca Raton circuit with their old fashioned grips? The next thing I knew, Andreas had switched my grip and convinced me to try out a new tennis racquet since my old one also went out of style about the same time as poof dresses - oh wait, aren't those back in again? Anyway, so I went to the tennis shop where all the SAHM's and retired biddees were looming around the clothes rack and I plunked down my credit card for a brand spankin' new Head racquet. I even decided to buy a few outfits but didn't actually try them on - big mistake considering those shorts pretty much show everything. I think I need to design a line of tennis shorts that conceal knee fat, but I digress. So five lessons later, I am almost back on my game. My strokes are solid, serves are terrific, my volleys can use some work but I may be ready to not only sub in the ladies tennis league but join them each week in their weekly tennis and coffee klatch. Though my days as a high school tennis star are long behind me, I'm finally making a comeback! Watch out Mildred and Harriet, Beth is back on her game and she's going to whip your senior citizen fannies this season!

A Note from My Biggest Fan...

Dearest Beth,

I had a good laugh while reading the latest edition of your newsletter. Of course, I still think you are the most beautiful mom around and although you are somehow concerned about feeling you haven't kept up with the latest in active attire- I can tell you that at the gym I go to the two-twos(22 year olds) wear the tighest skimpiest outfits and they expect me to keep up in their classes - what a laugh- but I' hanging in there.I bought some capri length workout pants and I do as many reps of an exercise as some of those teeny weeny two-two's. But as I said I think you are phenomenal no matter what you think. An aside - it isn't gezunga cars -it it is gesundta cars- I guess some of your yiddishisms need a little work!

Love Mom