THE INVISIBLE FELDMANS

There is something about my family and the service we get at restaurants. Practically every time we go to a restaurant - whether it's one we frequent on a regular basis or a new bistro that we're excited to try out, for some reason, the wait staff doesn't feel in a rush to serve us. Is it that they think we're nice enough and won't mind waiting a few extra minutes even though we're famished and waiting with baited breath for the bread basket to arrive? Or what about those days when we're dying of thirst and eager to order a drink and we watch as our waitress keeps visiting other tables, skims past our table and as we make a valiant attempt to call out to her, she's disappeared into the kitchen. We've been left waiting at the table for so long that we've begun to call ourselves, the Invisible Feldmans. We even have a theme song but since we don't have a podcast component yet, you can use your imagination on the tune. "Invisible Feldmans...we like to wait. Invisible Feldmans...do you think we just ate?" There are more lyrics, but it gets worse as it goes on. We have actually raised a stink from time to time when we've waited more than 45 minutes to be served in an empty restaurant but on regular occasions, we've pretty much made light of the fact that waiters and waitresses are equal opportunity ignorers when it comes to the Feldmans. So if you happen to be a waitress and you're reading this post...think of the invisible Feldmans - we might be in your restaurant one day so please don't ignore us...all we ask is for the bread and water and then you can ignore us until our kids start fighting over the last sourdough roll.