The Oblivious Factor

What is it these days with the Oblivious Factor? Whether we're driving, shopping or walking down the street, we are so wrapped up in something else other than looking to see if we're blocking someone's way or slowing down traffic, that we pretty much become a nuisance not only to others, but a hazard to ourselves. Just last week I was at our favorite supermarket - Stew Leonard's - for those of you on the east coast, you've probably been to Stew's - the Disneyworld of supermarkets - for others - you're missing a great shopping experience for yourself and the kids...but I digress. So there I was, maneuvering my cart through the circuitous fruit aisle when I wound up in gridlock - or cart-lock to be more precise. Some careless shopper - a man who had abandoned his cart to sample some muffin crumbs, had left me no room to get around him. And so, I had to wait while he savored a scone, until I could move to the next section. On the deli line, the back-up got even worse because tons of people were lined up to place orders and carts were literally strewn willy nilly down the aisle. I narrowly avoided knocking over someone's toddler who had gone AWOL while her mom was ordering some boiled ham and thankfully, moved on without a scratch to meat and dairy. Food, glorious food. Once again, people were off in different directions, sampling chicken apple sausages, Italian meatballs and bratwurst. And their carts? Well, there were two jacknifed by the potato chip rack, three camped out in front of of the dancing cows (my husband was one of those offenders) and four crowded around the dancing Chiquita Banana lady. Thoroughly frustrated, I slipped my hand into the fracas, wrenched out a few low-hanging bananas, called out to my husband to grab the kids - who had now joined a conga line near the Polly-o string cheese and wove my way to the register.

Luckily, there are about 40 cashiers at Stew's so checking out is never a problem - they have that part down to a science. But, we did have to make our way to the parking lot where there was a bottleneck by the propane tanks. End of season refills, I guess. Plus, some lady was standing smack in the middle of the lot yapping away on her cell phone, while another guy was typing some incredibly important message on his Treo that he had to send on a Saturday morning, just as we attempted to guide our overfilled cart to our car.

We finally crammed the groceries into the minivan, strapped the kids into their booster seats and were on our way - well not exactly. We had to contend with some woman fixing her lipstick in her rearview mirror, a teenager attempting to parallel park and that guy with the Treo who was still deep in the throws of some major emergency...or maybe he was just finalizing plans with his buddy to watch football.

And then there was me.

Yes, I admit it, I am oblivious too. While my husband was asking me a question about our next destination, I was busy scanning email messages on my BlackBerry, handing the kids two juice boxes, while reaching to make a call on my cell phone. He quickly gave me that, you better pay attention to me look or else, and I promptly placed all my technical gadgetry away in my purse and told him to head to the dry cleaners.

I've come to the conclusion that these days, for better or worse, we're all completely oblivious. But before you smack into the car in front of you, or hold up a line of shopping carts, or send a text message while crossing a busy street, or piss off your spouse, take a look around - the undercover mom may be right behind you and she's taking copious notes!

PANDEMONIUM AT THE PEDIATRICIAN

After being freaked out by the school nurse today who called me at the office to tell me that my daughter had some weird bug bite that seemed to be growing in size, I had a feeling it was going to be an early day. Sure enough, at 3:15 pm, my babysitter called to tell me the welt on her leg was growing bigger by the minute and I had to race home to take her to the doctor. Obviously pretty concerned, I grabbed my coat and bag and raced to catch the 4pm train home...of course missing two conference calls, but such is life when your kid develops a freaky skin rash.

On the way home, I thought about an email I read yesterday about some kid who was playing in the ball pit at McDonald's, told his mom his tush was hurting and then went into convulsions and it turned out he had been pricked by a needle that had heroin in it and unfortunately, according to the email - which I honestly didn't know if it was true - the child didn't make it. Not a good time for my own daughter to come down with a mysterious bug bite issue in light of that horrifying read.

The moment I got home, I inspected my daughter's leg and it looked pretty red so I figured it was still a good idea to take her the doctor to make sure it was nothing. So we raced off to the pediatrician at 5:30 pm and when we arrived, it was a madhouse.

Kids, babies and toddlers were crying incessantly. Screaming at the top of their lungs. Wailing for their mommies. The more a kid screamed, the more the others cried louder. Meanwhile, my kids, who got into a mini brawl at the abacus, decided to grab a front row seat and watch the mayhem unfold around us. One boy was running for dear life trying to avoid getting his flu shot, a nurse attempted to hold onto a baby who was crying out for her mom while she was busy holding on to her other kid who was getting immunized. Then, a little girl smacked that mom after having to endure a shot too! Holy cow - the place was a disaster area! And that poor woman with the four kids was in desperate need of a tequila shot herself!

They finally called my daughter's name and we went inside - of course she did have some kind of weird infected bug bite - not poisonous of course, but the doctor did prescribe some antibiotics, skin creme and benadryl just to be on the safe side. Now that she's falling asleep from all those antihisthamines and I'm enjoying the peace and quiet of my home office, today's meltdown at the pediatrician made me realize one thing. Taking a bunch of kids to the doctors' office is no picnic at the park.

THE LINE

I admit it. I have absolutely no patience whatsoever. And so, during my morning commute if someone slows me down, I can be a veritable steamroller, with smoke coming out of my ears and everything. This morning, my patience barometer was quite low when I went to drop off my car at the train station and there was some new parking attendant there. I had five minutes to catch my train and there were no spots in the lot to be found. And so, I was about to hand the keys to the valet to park my car - which is what I normally do with the guy who is usually there - and the new guy proceeds to tell me to go pull around and find a spot. "But my train is coming!" I shouted. He pretty much didn't care. Kind of like that post office lady who takes her time selling you stamps and holds up the line for hours because she knows she can. Anyway, exasperated and strapped for time, I angrily got back in my car and squeezed into a spot the size of shoebox.

Fortunately I made the train and had a delightful commute with my Metro North coffee klatch and then made it into Manhattan where I stopped by my usual breakfast joint to pick up an oatmeal and a diet snapple. But for some reason which I cannot understand for the life of me, I wound up on the one line that was the absolute slowest. Kind of like when you're about to go over a bridge and the lane you're in is moving just fine until it comes up to your turn and the bozo in front of you forgets his EZ Pass and screws everyone else up. But I digress. So I get on this line and the cashier is new - which I should have known since I'm always there but I wasn't paying close enough attention. She starts ringing up the guy in front of me and totally screws up the sale. And so, she needs to get the manager to fix her register and at this point, I'm getting antsy. I look to jump to another line and when I do, the lady in front of me is busy placing an order for 10 people in her office. Of course, the line I was just on is now moving, so I try to get back in line again and it of course comes to a complete halt again. What are they taunting me or something???

I finally did get my turn, paid for my overpriced oatmeal which was cold by the time I arrived in my office, and then I started my day. Didn't have any more line troubles after that, but tomorrow is always another day...