Kiddy Brawl at Kid Friendly Bistro

Took our kids out to their favorite restaurant - an Italian joint that offers a supervised play area complete with four Sony playstations, movies, a climbing loft, video games and fooz ball. Complete heaven for children and nirvana for parents who get to have a conversation over a glass of wine without a four-year-old spilling chocolate milk all over the table. But then, it happened. As my husband and I were engaged in some much needed adult conversation and our kids were off watching "Shrek 2," three kids who were not our own mosey-ed over to our table and decided to have a wrestling match. As the plastic balls they had just won from the game room went flying all around us, we looked all over the place and couldn't see a parent in sight to reign them in. And so, we gave them our best "evil eye" impression and they took their brawl to another table of unsuspecting diners. I know that we go to this restaurant specifically to keep our kids entertained while we enjoy ourselves too, but parents - please pay attention if your child has meandered out of the playroom and has decided to extend their playtime into the dining area. It's not fun for anyone when someone else's kids pitches a fit right in front of you just as you're trying to savor your linguini with clam sauce.

The Witches of Preschool

You know summer is officially over when you take your child back to pre-school and have a run-in with that nasty group of cliquey moms who never give you the time of day - probably because you work and they don't or you're not wearing a new pair of $300 jeans and they are. Whatever the case, it happened this morning when I was dropping off my son's pizza money at the front office and the Witches of Pre-school decided to hang out in the doorway and have a conversation just as I tried to maneuver my way past them. I've known these women for the past year - they've seen me bring my child to class with their little princesses - who are beyond rude but that's a whole other story. I know they know who I am - they've even been to my house for my son's birthday party and yet when I saw them today they did that really annoying, "I don't pretend to see you" routine that makes my blood boil. Sure, I could be confrontational, stare at them point blank and say "Hi, how was your summer," but I'd rather trash them here since it's a lot more fun to share my rant with my girlfriends in cyberspace. I'm sure there will be plenty more posts about the Witches of Preschool since they always seem to piss me off whenever I see them. Stay tuned...one of them invited my son to his daughter's birthday party - if I decide to go, I'm sure I'll have tons of juicy material to report back!

How Am I Driving?

For the first time in my adult life, I actually called one of those How Am I Driving? bumper stickers after we were stuck behind a van tonight that was hovering from side to side on a busy highway. We were shocked that this awful driver would have the guts to put up a sticker inviting us to report his terrible skills on the road to his boss. At first, we laughed it off. But then, when a cigarette came flying out of his window and right under our car, we were ready to fight back. Armed with the phone number 1-800-807-SAFE, I tried to report that dangerous driver in front of us, except all that I got on the other end was a recording that said the phone number I was trying to reach was out of service. Are you kidding me? I suddenly realized that those bumper stickers could be the ultimate scam. I've never tried to call one of those phone numbers and now that I have, I'm tempted to try it every time I pass a car or truck with that annoying sticker plastered on the back. And if all those stickers don't work, then who's pulling off the scam? The bumper sticker company or the boss who made his employee stick it on his van in the first place? Hmmmm....is it a ploy by a devious boss who tries to get his workers to drive safe by slapping an embarrassing bumper sticker on the back knowing full well that no one in their right mind is actually going to ever call that number? Well, the Undercover Mom is onto you...looks like I'll be doing some investigating of my own...one never knows - this could turn into an expose of the bumper sticker industry! Or just a story about a poor schmo who ordered a bumper sticker with the wrong phone number on it.

Bratz at Dunkin Donuts

Was in Dunkin Donuts today ordering my regular (iced hazelnut, skim milk and splenda) and noticed a mom who I swear resembled a life- sized Bratz doll. I thought only celebrities take on pixie like qualities because the camera adds 10 pounds to their frame, so when I saw this perfectly coiffed woman dressed in her gym clothes with three kids in tow and noticed that her body was literally the size of a seven year old's, my mouth literally dropped to the floor. I had to force myself not to stare because I have to admit, it's quite strange to see a woman who is a spitting image of a Bratz doll walking into Dunkin Donuts of all places. She of course didn't order anything other than a coffee, but part of me wanted to buy the poor woman a box of munchkins. I'm the first one to say that it's great to be thin but Bratz doll thin is a little kooky.

A Cheesy Experience

What is it about people who think they are "in the know" about a great hole in the wall restaurant that you just have to visit during a weekend getaway? Since we are a "restaurant family" we decided to take one friend's advice and visit a place that we hadn't yet tried this summer. And so, on a Friday night at around 7pm in the pouring rain, we walked into the back entrance of the restaurant, which appeared to have a few tables open and attempted to get a seat. Unfortunately, even though there were a few empty tables, we were told to go to the other side of the restaurant to put our name on their waiting list. And so, we fought our way through a crowd of people ordering takeout, only to learn that the wait to get inside was 30 minutes and we were starving. We decided to hit the road and visit one of our favorite restaurants in the area and were quickly seated, waited upon and had a great experience. Fast forward to today. Another rainy day spent watching movies and shopping for school supplies. At 3pm we decided to give that hole in the wall one last try and this time, we got a table. But, there's something about "hole in the wall" restaurants and service. They don't feel the need to rush to your table to take your drink order or hand over the bread basket. It took a good 10 minutes for us to be waited upon (after my husband asked the hostess to find us a waiter), and then we learned that there was no kids menu, if you wanted pizza you couldn't order it by the slice and if you wanted to substitute anything on the menu or ask for something like "fresh garlic," that was completely out of the realm of possibility. Plus, my husband had a hankering for steamed mussels, which he quickly learned were already sold out and so, when he asked if he could order fried calamari, the waitress advised that they only start serving that delicacy at 4pm - Incidentally, it was 3:30 pm when he asked for the calamari - you'd think they'd bend the rules since they ran out of his first choice but I guess the guy who cooks the squid doesn't come in until the late afternoon. When the food did finally arrive, it was good but not amazing. The pizza, which came fresh out of the oven, didn't even have time to cool down so when we lifted our slices to take a bite, the cheese came flying off. And, they couldn't even give us regular plates for us to put the pizza on. They handed us flimsy paper plates that became saturated with oil and cheese from the pizza that wasn't quite ready for consumption. So why does a place where the service is sub par and the food flexibility choices non-existent, still have people lining up in droves to sample their fare? I guess it's that crazy word of mouth syndrome. One guy discovered this diamond in the rough way back when, he told two friends and so on and so on. Too bad now that the place is teeming with people all day and night, this old gem has become a bit worn around the edges. I guess the take-out crowd has it all right - order the food, bring it home and serve it up any way you like!